


Resurfacing

by intodust



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, COLLEGE JOSHAYA, College Student Maya, Drug Use, F/M, Mild Language, Sexual Tension, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-08-24 03:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8354746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intodust/pseuds/intodust
Summary: Jealousy can be a bitch, especially at a college party. Or, Maya catches Josh being Josh and old feelings may resurface (no matter how hard she doesn’t want them to).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have anyone to correct my works, so I know I screwed up grammatically in a few places. Either way, I hope you like it.

Maybe she should have been somewhat scandalized that her roommate was practically dry-humping an unsuspecting frat guy on a couch that three other people were awkwardly sitting on. The bystanders didn't look too upset by the situation, as the liquor and drugs had taken away their moral conduct, but it wasn't exactly a pleasing sight.

_Should I just...leave her here?_

_Eh, whatever, she looks comfy enough._

Her roommate, Grace, had granted her the awesome responsibility of babysitting her tonight. She agreed that letting a lone Grace run free with alcohol at a party by herself was surely a bad situation, so she tagged along to watch from a safe distance and make sure that her roommate didn't end up with some unflattering photo on the front page of a school newspaper.

Riley had volunteered herself to tag along with them, just in case they needed a designated driver, but Maya assured her bubbly other half that they both installed the Uber app months ago and she should just focus on her research essay. Maya didn't party much, especially with Grace by her side, but just this once it seemed like she could have a good time. Or force herself to.

Maybe the real reason she decided to have a night out with Grace was because she ran into Josh last weekend.

It shouldn't have been a big deal, seeing him after so many years. They had lost touch almost completely and generally didn't mention each other anymore ever since he got himself a girlfriend in his sophomore year of college. She never knew what to make of that, but after some years she learned to accept it and move on with her love life. She had a few dates with Zay before realizing that they were both better off as friends. She had a brief stint with one of the football players at her high school and an even shorter relationship with one of Zay's baseball buddies.

But seeing Josh again after so much time brought something she had long ago repressed to the surface.

She slid onto the dancefloor, only feeling a pang of hurt as she shut her eyes and let the music carry her into a world of her own. She didn't tell Grace about Josh, nor did she mention anything to Ms. We-Must-Fix-Everything-In-Your-Life Matthews.

She downed the lukewarm beer in a single gulp as the music changed to a slightly faster pace. She wanted to overpower this feeling she was gaining with tons of alcohol until it was drowning inside of her and gone forever.

Her eyes drifted mindlessly to the guy dancing beside her. His purple sweatshirt was stained with liquids and looked worn, so she almost couldn't detect the giant, faded 'NYU' logo on his chest. She slowed down, falling into the feeling she was trying to avoid. Though the room was dark, only lit with neons and tacky glowsticks, she could just begin to make out about a dozen more hints that Grace had dragged her to a fucking NYU party.  
I should have just stayed home. That would've decreased my chances of Josh-related thoughts by eighty-percent, she thought, as she moved from the dance floor back to the lounge area.

Grace had hobbled her way to a different victim, holding the girl against the wall and absolutely violating her mouth.

Maya envied that in some way. No matter how disgusting it was to watch, she envied how easily Grace moved on from people. How she flit across rooms so confident in her sexuality, never wrapped up over a significant other, but always having them wrapped up over her.

She found herself moving towards the back of the place. It was obviously rented out for the occasion, whatever that might be, not your average run-down house party. The back seemed less spastic and dancey and far more loungey than the actual lounge, which just consisted of strangers making out (see also: Grace) and getting people all riled up.

She bumped into plenty of shoulders and elbows as she maneuvered her way towards the back seeing as everyone was drunk and clumsy, but there was one body that felt all too familiar as she passed it, one that smelled of a particular cologne, or was it the height difference that tipped her off. She turned around to make sure that she wasn't becoming the human embodiment of Beyonce's song 'Deja Vu' and, sure enough, there stood her favorite uncle.  
He wasn't facing her. Three girls surrounded him, all of them passing him vibes that they certainly wouldn't turn down any future offerings if he asked. He just smiled politely and continued to make small talk. Maya was anything but a creep and she tried to remind herself of that as she moved to get a better view of the interaction while also not compromising her location to any of them. Not a creep.

"Are you sure your girlfriend minds you standing here talking to all of us?" The curvaceous ginger asked with a drunken giggle followed by a hiccup. Ginger's friends exchanged a certain look, then turned back to Josh with award-winning smiles. Maya's arms crossed as she waited for his answer.

She hadn't seen him with whatsherface when she saw him last week. He was sitting on the park bench with one of his friends, laughing and texting. He didn't do a lot of that with whatsherface.

"Don't have one," He replied in a deeper voice than Maya remembered. The leggy brunette, who Maya assumed was the Leader, touched his shoulder. Her eyes slinted at the exchange.

"A gorgeous guy like you? Please. What happened?" She tilted her head like a puppy and sent him kind eyes. Despite that seemingly innocent act, Maya was growing more frustrated with the girls than she'd like to admit. Josh gave a weak laugh and scratched his head.

"Uh, she cheated on me. But, we weren't even that serious, so...yeah, it's not a big deal."

The girls pressed closer to him, cooing and awwing and rubbing their hands on his shoulder, on his chest, through his hair like he was a goddamn baby. Maya's fist clenched tightly as something oddly primal bubbled up within her. It's like she was in a constant replay of this scene: Josh flirting with some girl and her watching from the sidelines. Except, Riley wasn't beside her to cheer her up. Riley was studying for her exams and probably texting little heart emojis to her boyfriend.

"Seriously, I'm fine." He told them. The Leader pressed a manicured finger to his lips.

"Shh. We'll take care of you." Her grin was something right out of a Tim Burton film. Maya ground her teeth together, pressing her nails into the palm of her hand.

 _He is not yours. He can do whatever he wants,_ she reminded herself.

But then the girls were placing tiny pecks of kisses across his cheek and it was too scandalous to turn away from. Her heart filled with sickness as it was like the final blow to her lifelong crush, seeing a group of beautiful women sharing him like a slice of pie. She supposed she gasped (though she couldn't be sure because the alcohol was seriously screwing up her reaction time). His eyes flitted to hers a second later. They were stuck like that and neither could turn away.

"Maya." He mouthed. The girls on him didn't notice. She crossed her arms and frowned. His eyes didn't leave hers, even though she made it a point not to look at him for too long. He pushed the girls aside, suddenly eager to dodge their strange affections. She looked unimpressed as he ignored the girl's curses and pushed his way to her side.

"Maya."

"Joshua."

"We have to talk." He stated.

"Did you fit me in your schedule, for once? Nice," She didn't hesitate to say once he was in front of her. "I thought I'd have to wait another three years, but no, this is fantastic."

"I wouldn't say you jumped over hurdles to see me either," He replied smoothly like he had anticipated that kind of response from her, then moved too closely into her space.

"Maybe I didn't want to talk to you while you were all in love with whatsherface."

"You know her name."

"I bet she doesn't know mine." She replied, finally looking into his eyes and daring him to correct her. He didn't. "So much for the long game, huh? I'm sure your meaningless flings are doing the trick then."

"Don't act like you haven't had meaningless flings. And, so what? We've both had relationships, whatever. The long game wasn't about who we dated or what we did. It was about us ending up together in the end. Or did you forget?" Josh replied in a snappy voice. She rolled her eyes.

As if he had the right to give her attitude.

"Oh, please! You didn't care enough to have a real conversation with me in years, why would I want to be in a relationship with someone like that? What, did you think you had me in the bag already? Was I just a sure thing? God, I can't believe I was so in love with you, agh!" She grunted her frustration and kinda wanted to rip her hair out. Josh had the good grace not to mention her casual use of the l-word.

They were both anticipating the argument, but on that note, they guessed it was over before it even truly began. The moment kind of lingered and passed, as if arguments as greetings were normal. They stood in a weird silence for a few long seconds, just glancing at things, at each other, fiddling with their hands and making almost-smiles.

"So, what's up, Maya?" He greeted her. It was annoyingly casual like she hadn't just gone off on a tangent about loving him. She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help the small urge to finally converse with him again. What was it about him that always made her so helpless?

"Studying and working. Life. The usual." She answered as stoically as possible. He nodded and almost looked like he was going to walk off.  
Instead, he dug a box of cigarettes out of his pocket and rattled it.

"You smoke?" He asked. Unfortunately, she did. Only on occasion.

"Sure."

He reached out to grab her hand. She inhaled sharply at their contact, instantly recalling things like game boards, search parties, and ski lodges. He didn't give her a chance to pull away from the contact as he swiftly pulled her along with him to a part of the place that Maya hadn't yet explored. The club-like atmosphere was thick and she began second guessing herself as Josh led her into an area where most people were smoking and the music was noticeably lower.

He flicked his cigarette out to her, which she took with a close-lipped smile. He led them to a small couch and took a seat, immediately lighting it up and pushed it into his mouth. Maya took a tentative step to the couch before slowly lowering herself down a safe distance away from him. She allowed her eyes to roam his features as his lips pursed out puffs of smoke. The years had done him well, that much was annoyingly obvious. The stubble around his mouth lessened his 'pretty boy' charm and somehow transformed his look into something very manly and mature. He was far from the lanky, leather-jacket wearing boy she fell in love with. He had muscle tone, sharper features, and tired eyes - like he had been through more than she'd thought in their time apart. He leaned back into the couch comfortably and sent her a lazy smile. She inhaled sharply.

"So," She exhaled. "What are you doing here?"

"Same thing as you." He replied in that 'all-knowing' tone that he has perfected. Her eyes narrowed.

"I highly doubt that. I was dragged here by a friend. You, however, seem to be comfortable by your lonesome, picking up chicks and getting numbers. The typical Josh Matthews shtick." She crossed her legs and began examining her black nail beds. He rubbed a hand across his face and sighed.

"I didn't come here to 'pick up chicks'. I came here to help a friend. He wants to get completely trashed tonight, so I volunteered to be the designated driver." He defended himself. "When did you start thinking I was the type to 'pick up chicks'?" He asked. She scoffed, then twirled the cigarette in her hands.

 _When you got a girlfriend and didn't even bother talking to me anymore,_ she wanted to say.

"Maybe when I watched three girls make a Josh sandwich outta you," She crossed her arms. He chuckled, then hit her playfully on the shoulder.

"Hey, I'm not one to turn down a little attention," He gazed up at her beneath thick lashes and winked. She reluctantly cracked a small smile.

"You have always been an attention whore." She nodded in agreement.

_"Shut ahhp."_

"No, seriously, it was always a dramatic entrance with you," She smiled as the memories came back to her. " _'Hey, Family!'_ " She imitated in a deeper voice, laughing too hard to actually commit to it. Josh choked on the smoke he was inhaling as a laugh bubbled through him, as well.

"Oh, _I'm_ dramatic?"

"Yup."

"Maya _'Everyone-Has-To-Die'_ Hart is calling me dramatic?" He asked rhetorically.

"Yes, she is," She stuck the stick of cancer between her teeth. He scooted himself closer to her, holding his lighter out patiently. Maya stiffed. "Just hand it to me." She told him. He didn't move, except for the quick flick of his thumb over the lighter. The fire was held between them.

She rolled her eyes, but reluctantly leaned into the fire, edging the stick into the small flame. She looked up at Josh through her lashes as she took a quick inhale and let the smoke fill her lungs. He removed his red thumb from the lighter and pocketed it, his eyes never leaving hers.

"I did miss you, in case you were wondering. I missed you a lot."

Maya found that hard to believe. He had a beautiful girlfriend, a bunch of new friends, and damn near endless popularity. He was always too preoccupied with some party or event to hang out with Riley as much anymore. He had the life he wanted - and without the nosy, young girl that was too in love with him to let him make new friends at college parties. She scoffed.

_Yeah, right._

"I don't care if you don't believe me, Maya. I liked you and I wanted to be with you. That's a fact." He finalized. She inhaled the smoke slowly, then let it fan around her through the exhale.

"You're right," She stated. His brows lifted. "I don't believe you."

He stared at her as he took one long drag and exhaled harshly. The smoke hit her in the face, which made her a teeny bit angry for some reason. Before she could control it, her hand was already fisted into his crew neck and pulling him closer.

**Immediate regret.**

There was a reason she's never pulled Josh in this close to her. Because it's Josh, and no matter how many years pass or how many girls he dates, he's always going to be Uncle Boing.

Her cheeks flushed slightly with his face so close to hers.

"Don't blow your smoke in my face." She thanked her lucky stars that her voice didn't quiver. His eyes darted to her lips. The movement was fast, quick enough to make her think she'd imagined it.

"It was an accident. I'm sorry." He whispered. Maya's eyes nearly closed as his minty breath caressed and teased her face. She hated how sincere he sounded. No. Be mean to me so I can just get over you, she wanted to shout.

"It's...okay." She whispered back. He had nice lips, she'd give him that. Moisturized, obviously. None too big, but plump enough that she could make do. He actually had a tiny scar on the right of his bottom lip, like someone had punched him before. When she met his eyes again, she realized she had been staring at his lips for far too long.

"Let go." He reminded her.

 _Someday_ , ghosted in the air around them.

She glanced at the hand still wrapped up in his shirt and quickly removed it, muttering an apology. He nodded but never moved back to his original spot. She smiled nervously, afraid that he could hear her heartbeat pounding as loud as she could - which, logically, was ridiculous, but nothing had ever sounded so loud before.

Josh smiled back politely.

"You're still an asshole." She muttered. He nodded, then pointed behind her. She turned to see a very drunken Grace, waving her down.

"Mayo! Mayo, my queen!" She slurred, wiping the sheen a sweat from her forehead. Maya huffed. She almost forgot about her babysitting gig.

"Go wait over there where I can see you!" She pointed to a loveseat off to the right. Grace hobbled her way there and fell into the chair. Josh chuckled.

"That must be the friend?" He asked. She nodded.

"Yep, and it looks like I should call an Uber to pick us up, so..." She trailed off.

"I could drive you. I gotta find Spencer anyway." He suggested, but she really didn't think she could handle Josh Matthews for any longer. He had confused her enough for one night.

"No, no! We'll be fine, I promise. Don't worry about it, Josh, please," She unconsciously placed her hand over his. Either he didn't notice it or he didn't acknowledge it, both of which Maya would be pleased with.

"Alright. Yeah, no, that's cool. I'll just see you later, then?"

"Uh, sure. Later." She repeated. There was a pause.

"You gonna...leave then?" He asked with a smirk. She quickly removed her hands from his and stood up. If she'd have known he'd be all in her personal bubble tonight, she wouldn't have drank as much as she did. She walked to Grace and helped lift her up.

She nodded at him before dragging Grace back through the crowds of people.

"Who was that?" Grace slurred against her ear. Maya kindly shoved her face aside and pulled her phone out of her pocket.

"Just some guy I used to know."

The Uber arrived in two minutes time and Maya couldn't have been more grateful.

"Did he love you?" She asked once they were in the car. Suddenly, she wished she had another drink to gulp back.

"No, Grace, just leave it alone."

They didn't talk to each other from the Uber to their dorm. In fact, the only way she could tell that Maya was awake when they lied in their beds was the soft sounds of sniffling and silent cries as she dozed off. She'd ask her about it in the morning...if she could remember.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who finally finished something! :)

"You know who's great? Maya." Riley waggled her eyebrows.

Josh sipped his coffee and allowed his eyes to wander to the window, watching the busy people walk in and out of the store, hustling in the rush of a new morning. Riley always was a morning person, which was just a sickening trait on anyone. He almost skipped out on their weekly coffee-sesh, but her persistence is something that could rival his sister-in-law's. She dragged him out of bed by his hair and threw a random combination of clothes at him once he got out of the shower.

And now she was bugging him about Maya Hart, as usual.

"Sure." He didn't bother hiding the fact that he'd rather talk about anything else. Anything in the world.

"You know, she has an art show this weekend. It's supposed to be this, like, super important thing that all of her family and close friends are invited to. Lots of important people will be there, too. I sure as Hell won't be missing possibly one of the most important days of my best friend's life." She gave him a pointed look while sticking her straw between her lips and making an obnoxious slurp.

He gets it, he really does. Riley would probably love to spend her birthdays with Josh and Maya in the same room together and not have to schedule different times for them all to interact. Josh gets it, or at least he tries to. Maya was the moon to her sun, her other half and all that junk. But she was also the girl who he let slip away from him.

_Damn, he missed her so much._

And now Riley is here to give him a stroll down memory lane where he fucked up a relationship with someone who he could actually see himself having a real future with. 

He could never see a future with Melanie and that should've been the first red flag he saw. She was always bossing him around, making him do whatever she wanted, and then embarrassing him in front of his friends if she didn't get her way. The cheating bit really topped it off, too. All that accusing him of sleeping with other girls and constantly breaking into his phone was all just a cover-up to hide how completely shady she was. Riley just didn't understand how much he didn't want to talk about Maya. His _'one that got away'_ girl. 

"Good for you." He replied. She frowned.

"Good for Maya, actually."

"Mhm." He blinked. And that was probably the first time he heard his niece growl at him.

"Joshua Gabriel Matthews, if you don't start talking to me like an actual human being, I will call grandma and tell her that you're being mean to me." Riley threatened. He snorted at her.

"My ma? I'm shaking."

"Fine. I'll just call _my_ ma, then." She smiled once seeing how pale his face grew.

"Okay, jeez! You can't use Topanga to solve all your problems, you know."

"Oh, shut up. You're the one with the problems. Everyone knows you're still in love with Maya." 

Love was a strong word in any context, but Josh didn't go out of his way in correcting his niece. Crushes don't last for years, they're fleeting and quick to burn out. He didn't have a crush on her and she didn't have a crush on him, but with no room to explore those feelings their desire for each other kind of faded into the background. 

"I'm sure Maya doesn't want me to go to her art show. She didn't even let me drive her home," He whispered the last bit, but Riley had ears like a hawk and her eyes narrowed in on him suspiciously.

"You met up with Maya?" She accused. The hook in her eyebrow even looked menacing. He took a nervous sip of his coffee. _No, he is not scared of his niece._ "You sneaky sonuva --"

"Language." 

"To hell with language! All this time I've been pestering you about Maya and you two liars have been having a secret rendezvous?" Her glare turned deadly and he considered running for the hills. Then, a frighteningly bright smile began eating her face. "That's so romantic! Tell me everything! Did you buy her roses? Oh, God, she's pregnant, isn't she? I always told her to wait until marriage, but --"

"Jesus, Riley! Fuck no! I saw her at this party last week and, I don't know, we started talking again. There were no fireworks or love confessions or anything like that, it was pretty simple. I offered to drive her home and she refused and that was that." He explained to her slowly, but Riley's mind was already set.

"And she didn't tell me," she pondered with a knowing smirk, "because she still loves you, too." 

"Or because she knew you would get that crazy look in your eyes. Stay out of it, Riley, please. Maya and I are over. We never even began. It was just a stupid crush." 

"You're creating unnecessary angst, uncle Josh."

He gave her a look that meant _'drop it'_ and went back to drinking his coffee. Riley didn't bring it up again much to Josh's pleasure. They spent the rest of their morning discussing hot button news topics and the lengths their parents go to embarrass them. It was a nice relationship that he had with his niece - simple and easygoing. He loves her like a little sister.

"Promise me you'll think about what I said." She said before catching her cab back home. Josh only winced, which somehow seemed to be enough for her as she bounced into her cab and waved him goodbye.

He walked back home feeling very antsy. All he could see were things that belonged to Maya Hart. Maya's fingerless gloves - on a random passerby talking on her phone. Maya's obnoxious yellow leather jacket on a petite teen skipping into a candy store. Maya's flawless blond hair flowing down the back of some mother pushing a stroller in front of him. Her carefree smile on a group of children running down the street. And her blue eyes on the cover of some singer's album poster strewn across a graffitied brick wall.

He stopped before reaching the crosswalk and shut his eyes hoping that submerging himself in the darkness of his eyelids would eject any and every bit of Maya he saw from his memory. But she was still there, gazing into his eyes as she leaned into the flame of his lighter, burning the end of her cig while keeping his stare.

A strand of hair had fallen into her face that night and it took the strength of Jesus for him to suppress the urge to push it behind her ear. He opened his eyes again welcoming the sun into his vision and hoped that it would burn the image of her away. It didn't.

When he got back home, Andrew and Charlotte were making out on the couch, so he quietly exiled himself to his bedroom. He thought about calling Maya to congratulate her on her success, or at the very least commenting a thumbs up emoji under a Facebook post and then logging out forever. He paced, back and forth, thinking about what the hell he could do to get her out of his mind once and for all. But nothing worked for three years, so why would anything work now? Maya was an art school success and moved on to bigger and better things. She probably had a thousand things to do. She probably ditched his offer to drive her home because she had a date planned or something. 

_Fuck, no, don't even go there._

He fell face first on his bed thinking about how stupid Maya makes him. One look from her and he slips into this constant state of _mayamayamayamayamaya_ and the memory of her eats at him slowly until he finds himself walking half-way up the stairs to his apartment, shoes nowhere to be found, with a pounding headache from too many drinks at a bar he has no recollection of. 

_"Drinking yourself to death won't make her come back. And you're still an asshole," Andrew said once when he had stumbled drunkenly through the door._

That was months ago after Riley posted a picture on Instagram of Maya and her surfing at a beach. Her hair was tied into a tight bun and she grinned into the camera with such a worry-free smile that he was taken aback. She looked happier without him, meanwhile, he was a mess. He wanted to laugh at himself for being so weak, but he was also very scared of how he would cope after seeing her in the flesh again.

_Don't do anything stupid_ , he told himself.

But that night, despite his best efforts, he found himself climbing half-way up steep, wooden steps without either one of his shoes, humming a Drake song to pass the time. Around the time he reached the last flight of stairs, he stopped and slumped against the wall, pulling his phone out. He didn't even think before scrolling through his contacts to the _M's_. 

The phone rang five times before the line clicked.

"Hello?"

Her voice was so melodic and whimsical and he didn't know if that was because he was drunk or not. He tried to speak, but his entire _'I truly never meant to hurt you'_ speech died on the tip of his tongue. As if she would believe her drunk almost-ex douche of a 'someday' guy about not meaning to hurt her. Calling her was a mistake, but it all happened so quickly in the haze of his drunken auto-pilot.

"This isn't creepy _at_ _all_. I'm hanging up now."

"Wait," He began. Her breathing hitched and he could tell she knew it was him. "Maya, I'm...well, I'm drunk. I'm so fucking sorry for drunk dialing you. I guess I didn't think you'd pick up and then I'd leave an embarrassing voicemail that you'd just delete later and we could just try to forget this ever happened, but - shit, why did I even say anything? You could've hung up and just thought you had some kind of stalker trying to hunt you down, I mean! Not that I'm a stalker that's trying to hunt you down! Shit, I'm not good at this, please stop me anytime you want because otherwise, I'll keep talking and --"

"Stop." She commanded. He bit his lips. "Josh...where are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm sitting in the hallway of my apartment building. It's actually pretty comfortable out here." He mentioned, tapping his fingers against the staircase. Maya sighed.

"Any reason you're sitting in the hallway?"

"I got lazy," He motioned to the last flight of stairs in front of him as if she could see him and sighed. So many steps. How did he always go up these many steps? He could just feel her rolling those blue eyes.

"What do you want, Joshua?" She asked. Ouch, full name.

"Listen. I know that you don't...you don't really like me anymore. You hate me. And I get it! I'm an asshole that should...I should never bother you again and I won't. Our relationship or _whatever we had_ needs closure so we can both move on."

He couldn't tell if the lingering silence on her end meant he should go on or hang up out of embarrassment.

"So, what? You're gonna tell me why you were such an asshole to me? Why you acted like I didn't exist and then went out with whatsherface?"

"You know her name." He replied automatically, then cringed.

"Melanie Collins." She articulated in a snappy kind of tone.

"Maya, I --"

"I don't care, Josh. I'm not in high school anymore and I have happily moved on with my life. If you think that I lose any sleep over your sudden disinterest in me, you're sadly mistaken." She rambled. He gripped the phone tight enough to hurt himself. "I don't even think about you anymore. You were...a mistake," She continued, sounding slightly less sure of her words. "In fact, I already found a date to my art show in a couple days. Yep, I've been on the market for awhile now. So, yeah, no closure needed. Maybe we can be friends now?" She said as more of a suggestion. 

He ended the call and tossed his phone to the side.

She verbally bitch-slapped him and then finished it off with a kick in the crotch. He smiled a bit in self-deprecation. If Melanie could see him now she'd probably double over in laughter. He'd probably deserve it, too. He just had to go ahead and fall in love with his niece's best friend. 

 

* * *

 

 

**Two Days Later**

 

Maya remained stoical as Grace swiped every single hors d'oeuvre from one of the server's trays, which caused a bit of attention from a few art scouts. It wasn't every day they saw a hundred pound girl stuffing fried calamari in her mouth (and purse) like she hasn't eaten in years. Maya pulled her away from the awkward looking girl holding out the serving tray and dragged her to the abstract section of paintings. Grace whined the whole way.

"This is why I can't take you to nice places. Where the hell is Riley?" Maya asked her. Grace shrugged, then checked her phone.

"She says she'll be here in a few minutes. You know she wouldn't miss your big night."

"I know."

"Are you afraid Josh is gonna come?" Grace asked. After her embarrassing breakdown after the NYU party, she had a little bit of explaining to do about Josh Matthews and now Grace wouldn't let it go. "I mean, almost your entire collection is about your relationship with him."

"No, it's not!" Maya argued. Grace scoffed, then walked on the other side of the all white, spacious gallery to where her art hung proudly on the walls. She pointed to the first picture of the collection. It was a post-impressionistic piece she had spent all senior year of high school on. There were tall oak trees creating a path through a dimly lit park for two smaller figures, a man dressed in all black and a girl on his back seemingly about to lose her footing and fall. 

"That's obviously you and Josh," Grace pointed to the blond girl and smirked. Maya shook her head in denial.

"Or it's just a random blond with some random guy." She offered.

"Your art always has a deeper meaning, Maya. You can't just take Josh out of your life forever. I don't even know why you said all those horrible things to him on the phone, he was trying to give you closure. You deserve that." She tried to reason. 

"Well, I don't want it."

"Why? Because then it means you're officially over and you don't want that?" 

"I'm not having this conversation with you." She turned around hoping that Riley would just arrive already. She didn't hate talking about Josh, only the feeling that it gave her. Remorse, heartache, and pain - it was all apart of the Josh Matthews emotion package. 

"Fine. I see a far more interesting brunette sitting by those gothic landscapes over there," Grace gave a peace-out sign before swaggering over to the cute girl observing the art. Maya rolled her eyes. 

A few people came over to her section of the room and said some kind words about her collection. Even more wished to buy one of her pieces, which weren't exactly up for sale - until someone bid one thousand dollars. That's when she prepared herself to say good riddance. By then, Riley, Farkle, Smackle and the entire Matthews clan minus one uncle in particular had surrounded her art collection, congratulating her until all she could do was smile. 

"I like the dreamy-looking one with the leaves falling." Riley grinned. Topanga agreed, awwing at the picture with her daughter. Cory was far more interested in the one she drew of a brunette (Obviously Riley) spinning in a white flare dress into a swan, surrounded by a lake of ducklings. Auggie was elbow deep in fried shrimp. Smackle was taking pictures of her art and sending them to Zay and Lucas, who were both visiting their families in Texas. Katy came to a little while later muttering something about getting stuck in traffic and squashed her in a bone-crushing hug, then shed a few tears as she rambled loudly about when Maya used to draw stick figures. 

Maya had never been so happy in her life, so content to be with the people she loves. Still, there was one thing bothering her in the back of her mind. 

"When were you gonna tell me about Josh?" Riley asked after managing to drag her away from their family. Maya wasn't so much shocked as she was curious.

"I didn't tell you because there was nothing to tell, especially now." She muttered, looking over some other artwork hanging on the walls. He hated her, she just knew he did. She'd probably never see him again and she still couldn't figure out if that were a good thing or not. Riley's hand anchored to her shoulder.

"Talk to him. _Face to face_. I think you'll be surprised."

Maya squinted in realization.

"You gave him my number, didn't you? When did you two start hanging out again?"

"We never stopped, I just didn't tell you. He's my uncle, Maya, I can't exactly escape him." She chuckled. "And neither can until you confront this issue like adults and not angsty teenagers." 

"Oh, great. You put on your 'grown up' voice. I guess I have no choice."

"Nope," She smiled. Maya rolled her eyes before skipping back over to the family.

She didn't text him until after everyone had left her show to get dinner. She told them she'd meet up with them later and stayed behind with a few other wanderers and the cleaning crew, staring at her artwork still displayed on the eggshell walls. He texted back that he's on his way, so she had a few minutes to mentally prepare herself for the conversation they were about to have. It was long overdue.

Their talk of the long game was special, but everything that happened afterwards is what she'll never forget, it's what she was really upset about. All the times he called her in the middle of the night just to talk to her, just to rant about some guy in Philly giving him problems, or a fight he had with his parents. It wasn't a relationship, not the one they were both aiming for. It was a friendship and this indescribable bond they had grew with every day that passed. He accepted her piggyback rides and practically carried her everywhere. He told her things he swore he never told to anyone else and for a second she thought she could really love him and then one day be able to show him that love. 

Then, he stopped. And he introduced her to whatsherface.

She remembers the day before that, too. How secure she felt around him, listening to grunge music and absentmindedly watching b-grade horror movies, teasing him about his roommate and fantasizing about kissing him. And then actually kissing him.

_"You're only two years older than me," Maya said once the movie had reached a dull point. Josh was there in the dim lighting of her living room, respectfully on the other side of the couch munching on caramel popcorn. She thought he never looked better with his messy hair and flannel pajamas. He turned to face her, then smiled brightly._

_"Is your hand getting cold?" He asked, raising his own hand in an offer. She shook her head and adjusted closer to him on the couch. He was confused but still smiled._

" _I am no longer a middle school hand holder, I am a junior year cuddler," Maya took his hand still floating in the air and pulled it around her neck, snuggling closer into the side of him and resting her head in the spot between his shoulder and his chest. Everything about them in that moment just made so much sense and she had no doubt in her mind that that's where she wanted to be ten years from then. Josh eventually settled into her after some hesitation, obviously shook up by the new territory they were in, but it felt nice._

_"And if your mom walks in?" He asked, tapping his fingers in a steady rhythm against her shoulder. She looked up into his eyes as he stared down at hers. She had never been so sure of her feelings as she did in that moment._

_"She has the late shift," Her hand traveled from his side and up to his neck, which she gripped. He inhaled._

_"And Shawn," He sighed._

_"In Boston for the weekend."_

_"You're a bad influence."_

_"The best," Her eyes drifted down to his lips before darting back up to his pensive eyes. She gave him a hesitant smile before guiding her hand from his neck to his face. His eyes watched it travel to his lips. Her thumbs dabbed the corner of his mouth, wiping away tiny popcorn crumbs that he didn't notice._

_"I'm gonna kiss you now." She warned him. "Is that okay?"_

_And she felt his breathing grow irregular and heard the accidentally comical gulp he made._

_"I think you've had one too many cups of soda," He tried not to react as her hand continued to grope his soft face. "It's not a good idea."_

_"You don't wanna kiss me?" She pouted._

_"No, I do! Holy shit, you have no idea, but -- we can't!" His own hand reaches up to grab hers._

_"Josh, look, I'm not gonna beg you or try to get you to change your mind or anything. I just think you're one of the best people in my life right now and you make me happy and...I want you to be my first kiss. I don't want a first kiss with some high school boy after a party on the doorstep of my house or anything like that, no matter how great they are or how much I like them." She had to break his intense stare, but his hand never left hers. "I can't think of anything more perfect than right now with you...and your popcorn breath and this terrible movie." She smiled down at her lap._

_He lifted her chin back up to him and leaned in. Her eyes were closed, but she felt his curious peck land on her cheek. She opened her eyes to see him inches away from her with the most contemplative look in his eyes._

_"You don't have to." She whispered._

_"Yeah," He matched her tone. She prepared herself to be disappointed, like always. Then, he pulled her face into his until their foreheads were touching. "But I want to."_

_Once his lips met hers their nostrils both blew out long sighs,_ relieved _sighs._ _She tentatively puckered her lips into his and nearly squeaked in surprise once he pushed back into her. Josh untangled his hand from hers to place on the side of her face. She tried moving hers, too, but couldn't find a good spot on his body to put them. She laughed through his kisses until they were essentially knocking each_ others _teeth and smiling like idiots._

_"Where the hell do I put my hands? Oh, my God." She giggled, high on the feeling of his kisses. He grabbed both her hands and wrapped them around his shoulders. "Am I a terrible kisser? Is it bad?"_

_"No, you're perfect. I actually think_ I'm _kind of bad."_ _He pecked her lips again, wrapping his arms around his waist. She tried kissing him back but missed half his mouth and ended up on his chin somehow, then laughed at herself again._

_"Yeah, it's definitely you," She kissed him again much more precisely. "You taste like caramel."_

_Her memory was hazy after that and she just remembered loving the feel of his lips on hers and squealing happily as his fingers dug lightly into her sides and falling back into the couch with him above her, peppering her neck with small kisses. And laughing, so much laughing. She kissed him through two more movies, until their lips felt sore and their hair was so delightfully wrecked and they were drifting to sleep because making out really takes a lot out of you, but they still couldn't tear themselves away from each other._

_"We need to stop," He said after movie number two ended, panting and sweating just slightly. Maya pulled him back into her to kiss his collarbone some more and he groaned like he was in pain._

_"Why?" She muttered between kisses._

_"Because I'm still a teenage boy and this is kind of killing me." He whispered into her hair. She stopped her attack on him and smiled up at him._

_"Fine. We'll continue this later...someday." She pecked his lips again. He nodded, leaning in to return her kisses with renewed vigor. She gasped at the feel of his tongue edging into her mouth, giving him the opportunity to french kiss her, and she swore her eyes rolled back. Then he stopped._

_"What are you doing, it just got interesting!" She yelled and hit his shoulder repeatedly._

_"Someday." He reminded her with a smug grin._

_"Jackass."_

She met Melanie the next day and he began gradually regressing back into the Josh she knew in middle school. He didn't kiss her, he didn't touch her, and he didn't look at her. He started dating Melanie and then that was that. She hated him for three years and then she saw him at a college party flirting with other girls. God, he made her so crazy sometimes that she couldn't even see straight. 

"Maya?" His voice startled her out of her inner monologue, but she didn't flinch.

She realized she'd been glaring at the couple in the park portrait. Why'd she even paint it? What was she thinking? It was never gonna happen.

"I hated you for a long time," she didn't move to acknowledge him, "and I deserve to know what happened."

"I met Melanie a few weeks before we kissed," He began. She continued glaring at her work. "She was like a friend. I thought she was cool and edgy and she laughed at my cheesy jokes. I liked her. But, I liked you more, so I told her about you." He admitted. Maya scoffed but didn't interrupt him.

"She...she called me names. She said I was creepy. She just looked down at me like I was this pathetic loner who couldn't find girls his own age to date and I -- It hurt, you know. And I started to believe her. She found out we kissed somehow, I don't know, maybe it was just written all over my face. She just exploded at me. She said I was ruining your life."

"And you believed her?!" Maya finally turned from the painting. His eyes were red and puffy.

"Yes, I did! I already had my doubts about us and she just confirmed everything that I was already thinking. She got in my head, Maya, and I thought I was doing what was best for you. I'm not...I'm not blaming her, I was the one stupid enough to listen to her and --"

"She manipulated you!" She fumed. The image of that girl bossing him around and treating him like someone lesser than her made Maya want to punch something - namely, Melanie's face. She knew verbally abusive relationships when she saw them and the thought of Josh going through something like that while she was already hating him made her sick to her stomach. 

"I know that now, but I didn't before. I hated ignoring you. I hated being in a relationship with her. I hated acting like I wasn't completely in love with you!" His voice broke. "I loved you. I mean... _I love you_. And I get it if you never want to see me again, but I just needed you to know that."

Her stomach lurched in an unruly way and she thought for a horrible moment that she might throw up, but what actually came out was a tear. "You..." She whimpered. He nodded.

"And I guess that's closure." He stared down at his combats. A soft hand lifted his face just the slightest bit up and he was then staring at the girl he loves. Her cheeks were flushed a rosy red.

"I can't believe you said it first." Her thick eyebrows raised high into her hairline. He grinned back.

"Well, technically, you said you loved me at that party."

"Doesn't count, I said loved, you said _love_. You _love_ me." She almost giggled.

"You don't have to say it back."

"I wasn't going to. You'd have to earn that." 

The light in his eyes returned.

"You're letting me earn it?" He asked, gaining a wicked smirk on his face. 

"If you're up for it, Boing." She grinned.

"I'm going to kiss you now. Is that okay?" He asked. She pretending to ponder that over in her head, then shrugged.

"I don't know. I remember you being a terrible kisser. You had popcorn breath." She faked a gag. He grabbed her by the waist anyway and pulled her into him.

"Let me make it up to you."

She forgot how great they fit together in each other's arms. This kiss wasn't like the one they shared on her couch, though. This one was deeper, rougher, more aggressive and assertive. She melted into his hold on her and held on for dear life as he lightly bit her bottom lip.

"I love you so much." He whispered, coming up for air. She pulled him back down, sighing in content at his kisses. Their tongues met and caressed as they explored each other's mouths. He came back up. "I'll never leave you again, I promise." She rolled her eyes and pulled him back into her lips. He gave her one long kiss before moving away to speak again.

"Josh, stop talking, we have so many years to catch up on here." She pouted.

"I was just gonna suggest we get outta here, the cleaners are looking at us like we're about to take our clothes off. Not that...not like that would be a bad thing, but it's definitely a bad location."

"Is your place free?" She asked. His eyes widened.

"I can make it free." He said, fumbling around himself trying to find his phone. She laughed at his eagerness. The idea of her ever getting over Josh and moving on with some other guy in her life seemed so ridiculous now. She can't believe she thought she could ever get away from him, could ever stop thinking about him and imagining their future together. He was her endgame and that was it, she knew that from the moment he walked through Riley's front door.

After Josh ended his short phone call with Andrew with the words _'get the fuck out'_ , he took some time to admire her paintings on the wall. His favorite was the couple walking through the trees, of course.

"It kinda looks like us." He mentioned. She smiled before bouncing up on his back, wrapping her arms securely around his neck as he held her legs around him.

"Now it does!" She kissed his cheek. He carried her from the gala, down several flights of stairs, and into his car downstairs. "Say it again," Maya said once they were all buckled up. He sighed, turning the keys into the ignition.

"I love you."

"Again."

_"I love you."_

"Say it fifty times. Say it in french." She teased. But he actually did, and she never got tired of hearing it. Maybe someday soon she'd be able to say it back and they could finally get this long game business back on track. For now, she said it back to him in her head and kissed his free hand, hoping that it told him everything he needed to know.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
